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Once upon a time, on an Internet far, far away, there was a site called trainwrecks.

We’re back, and we hate you.

(but sometimes you just can't look away)

trainwrecks2.0@gmail.com

Archive

Dec
6th
Thu
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Best Articles 2012: The 25 Pieces That Should Be Required Reading For Women, By Topic

On Female Friendship

Hillary Clinton

Mean to Fat People, Ashley Judd

Weddings!

Hottie Reverend in a Bikini

Lena Dunham

Mean to Fat People, Jezebel

Mean to Fat People, Wall Street Journal

Women Can’t Have It All.

Can Women Have It All?

Lena Dunham

I’m Ugly

Take My Advice, Please!

Babies!

Photoshop!

Women and Healthcare

Mother Issues

Hookup Culture

Mean to Fat People, HuffPost Parents

Gabrielle Giffords

Mean to Fat People, Allure

Free To Be You And Me, Dude Byline

Mean to Fat People, Slate

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

LOVE ME
May
28th
Fri
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We’re not happy until you’re not happy.
—

Sean Hurley, bass player in the band and loyal compatriate. (via jhnmyr

)

Long the slogan of Mrs. K over at Fussy.

(via youngmanhattanite)

HOLY SHIT someone at YM reads shrill hipster mommyblogs. It could be any of them and it would still be funny.

May
21st
Fri
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thingsiatethatilove: <blah blah> It’s amazing when something so Internet happens in real life.  Like, this woman was in the middle of leaving a verbal mean comment and I came and said what I always say which is I AM A REAL PERSON. I CAN HEAR YOU. I’M RIGHT HERE.  But then she continued to act as though I were not, and then later she anonymously bragged about having done so on the actual Internet, like this is all just totally normal stuff that happens all the time, that could happen to anyone. How dare you say something negative about Emily Gould when you think she’s not listening? You should only say negative things about Emily when you are sure she is paying attention, otherwise the your criticism is invalid. Also if you say it when she’s paying attention it’s invalid because you didn’t say it sooner. Also it’s just invalid because she’s kind of sensitive? And not that good at taking criticism! So like be cool man, ok?

thingsiatethatilove:

<blah blah>

It’s amazing when something so Internet happens in real life.  Like, this woman was in the middle of leaving a verbal mean comment and I came and said what I always say which is I AM A REAL PERSON. I CAN HEAR YOU. I’M RIGHT HERE.  But then she continued to act as though I were not, and then later she anonymously bragged about having done so on the actual Internet, like this is all just totally normal stuff that happens all the time, that could happen to anyone.

How dare you say something negative about Emily Gould when you think she’s not listening? You should only say negative things about Emily when you are sure she is paying attention, otherwise the your criticism is invalid. Also if you say it when she’s paying attention it’s invalid because you didn’t say it sooner. Also it’s just invalid because she’s kind of sensitive? And not that good at taking criticism! So like be cool man, ok?

May
14th
Fri
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You know what? If I were either Emily or Lindsay, I think I would just apologize for being a cunt five years ago instead of explaining why it was okay for me to be a cunt then but not okay for Heather to write a sincere recollection about how I was a cunt.
Mar
31st
Wed
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juliaallison:

Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn

Not sure why, but I felt an inexplicable need to listen to this song tonight. And yes … it give me some strange hope.

She said, “Tell me, are you a Christian child?” And I said, “Ma’am, I am tonight!”

That just gets me every time.

Ha, lord, sometimes even with my patented extensive over-analysis, I don’t understand my own emotions.

Bitch, you allegedly make money off this blog; note a correction like a big kid.

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juliaallison:

Walking in Memphis - Bruce Springsteen

Not sure why, but I felt an inexplicable need to listen to this song tonight. And yes … it give me some strange hope.

She said, “Tell me, are you a Christian child?” And I said, “Ma’am, I am tonight!”

That just gets me every time.

Ha, lord, sometimes even with my patented extensive over-analysis, I don’t understand my own emotions.

Bruce Springsteen? BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN!?!?!? Girl, you have enough problems without getting Marc Cohn on your ass. That dude was shot in the head and IT DIDN’T EVEN PENETRATE HIS SKULL.

Mar
29th
Mon
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Oh my god, the Youngs are now narrating our youths back to us. (Keep cool, Very Slightly Less Youngs, they apparently haven&#8217;t found out about Daniel Clowes yet.) nedhepburn: OK Soda was a soft drink created by The Coca-Cola Company in 1993 that aggressively courted the Generation X demographic with unusual advertising tactics, including endorsements and even outright negative publicity. It did not sell well in select test markets and was officially declared out of production in 1995 before reaching nation-wide distribution. The drink’s slogan was “Things are going to be OK.” OK Soda was intentionally marketed at the difficult Generation X and Generation Y markets, and attempted to cash in on the group’s existing disillusionment and disaffection with standard advertising campaigns; the concept was that the youth market was already aware that they were being manipulated by mass-media marketing, so this advertising campaign would just be more transparent about it. 

Oh my god, the Youngs are now narrating our youths back to us. (Keep cool, Very Slightly Less Youngs, they apparently haven’t found out about Daniel Clowes yet.)

nedhepburn:

OK Soda was a soft drink created by The Coca-Cola Company in 1993 that aggressively courted the Generation X demographic with unusual advertising tactics, including endorsements and even outright negative publicity. It did not sell well in select test markets and was officially declared out of production in 1995 before reaching nation-wide distribution. The drink’s slogan was “Things are going to be OK.”
OK Soda was intentionally marketed at the difficult Generation X and Generation Y markets, and attempted to cash in on the group’s existing disillusionment and disaffection with standard advertising campaigns; the concept was that the youth market was already aware that they were being manipulated by mass-media marketing, so this advertising campaign would just be more transparent about it. 
Mar
17th
Wed
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A Handy Guide To All Those Who Missed Anything On Tumblr Today.

Yeah, but what about everyone else’s tumblrs?

nedhepburn:

something something Wes Anderson.

Something something feelings, something something 30 Rock quote, something something whatever 14 year old girls are into but so are 28 year old women. 

Something something a book we all read but vaguely remember. Something something nostalgia. Something something “SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA”. Something something this-app-is-the-second-fucking-coming-of-Our-Lord-Jesus. 

Picture Of Myself!

Caption.

Witty quote. Meaningful quote. Picture of a celebrity. Picture of a celebrity’s meaningful quote. 

Something something “SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA!” rebuttal from earlier. Something something taken out of context. Something something Hey, Remember The 90’s? Something something Harry Dean Stanton crying. Something something a picture stolen from Flickr. Something something self referential. Something something trying to tank your own blogging platform. Something something “hey look at my girlfriend/boyfriend/dog/cat/rarely but sometimes a lizard”. Something something Bill Murray (obviously). Something something that was too long and I didn’t read. Something something from someone I consider a friend in social setting but in reality only hung out with twice. 

Picture of food.

Caption of picture of food.

Something something something an Old might say trying to understand this here internet? Something something witty internet webzine said! Something something someone just finding out who Lady Gaga is. Something something someone who doesn’t get the internet and just spurts fountains of bullshit. 

Something something drug addled. Something something witty. Something Molls said. Something trending on Twitter. Something something a quote from John Lennon. Something something Tess Lynch said that was way, way funny but would take me 20 minutes to someone who didn’t know the situation. Something something where did my day go? Something something a big, giant, blue void. Something something withdrawl. Something something a giant outdoors, something something direct sunlight. Something something ‘maybe I should eat some fruit?’.

Something something checking internet on iPhone while outdoors and drinking Jamba Juice. Something something ‘SOCIAL FUCKING MEDIA!’ makes you more anti-social. Something something “pull the plug”/empty promises/remember that diet you never started/weren’t you supposed to jog everyday? Something something terrible, never ending glowing rectangles. Something something sawn-off-shotgun and ‘living off the grid’ outside of Tuscon. 

Mar
1st
Mon
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Make Way for Mommy!

Hey guys!  What did we miss? Anyone catch this piece of work? It’s a short piece about how all the non-breeders out there need to pitch in and show mothers some common fucking courtesy!

“If you see me trying to navigate a double stroller, why can’t you move out of my way?”

We’re a little rusty, but the correct response to this is still “Oh, hell no,” right?

The author’s (“author’s”???) follow up is not to be missed. Classic back pedaling.

“I’m writing to clarify the tone. It pointed out how we collectively need to step it up in the ‘courtesy department.’”

Really? Because the original article did not read as an invitation for the world to become a more courteous place. It read as an invitation for the world to yield the right of way to the precious mommies in all situations.  Always.

Gothamist weighed in and the comments are glorious:

“i have a standard answer for all those bitches asking for help with their baby, stroller, doors, stairs or whatever…”wheres the dude who stuck his d*ck in you?”

i never ran in to this loon, but ive never met anyone who has the nerve to ask anybody to MOVE seats in a theatre. the only reasonale option would be to switch rows then the dumb hobag and her satan spawn would just give up the charade of demanding an empty seat in front of her kids unless she wants to work her mommy magic all the way up to the front row.
ha!”

“mommy rage…a yuppie term for henpecking, bullying & nagging…
im sure her husband is now filing for divorce for embarassment.

exactly what is mommy rage…is she getting into street brawls in park slope?”

Commenter etypical sums the kerfuffle up perfectly:

“‘and all she’s saying is that she could use a bit of help and tolerance.’

That’s not at all what she’s saying. She is saying that now that she’s birthed, here’s a checklist of ways to make her life better/easier. It takes a certain amount of complete and utter narcissism to assume anyone who doesn’t know you, cares a lick about making your life easier. Asking is one thing, demanding is another.

She phrased it all wrong and now she’s got to suck up the slams she’s taking. It’ll make her life easier (to understand that no one cares) in the long run”

Who loves entitlement?  WE DO!

Nov
21st
Sat
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hey get on gchat- gotta tell you something

(via bowlingalleylawyer)

This is a terrible way to communicate with a person.