December 2008
95 posts
Throw me a fuckin bone here.
markyb:
Does anyone understand the workings of the radar here? You could post cutesy doggies and end up on the front page within nanoseconds, but a quote gets 64 notes and it remains in obscurity? I guess this counts as a white whine, but I’m not upset about it. Just thoroughly confused.
Someone explain. Now.
Maybe the radar only likes super lame shit, not just mildly lame shit. Maybe the...
Hi tumblr! We want to let you in on a fun email we got regarding some of our members’ views on the sitch in Gaza. Here’s an excerpt.
How is communicating an empirical observation with easily verifiable correspondence to the actual policies of an apartheid state, disgusting?
Now for any of you who actually read what we wrote and didn’t have a knee-jerk reaction based on your...
Yawn
jhnbrssndn:
I take it as a welcome sign of the maturity of the Tumbling classes that it’s possible to post criticisms of the Israeli airstrikes on Gaza without being labelled an anti-Semite.
Oh, it absolutely is. It’s also possible to criticize the Israeli airstrikes with an anti-semitic slur. Amazing!
“It is especially painful for me, as an American Jew, to feel compelled to...”
– Richard Falk, UN Human Rights Council Special Investigator for the Occupied Territories, July 2007 (via jhnbrssndn)
Well gee. Considering the holocaust was a systematic and aggressive genocide of innocent people based on their religion, and the current mess in Palestine is a desperate and misguided...
Male Birth Control Pill Soon a Reality →
noahkai:
henryeatspeople:
sterlingpowers:
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Yeah, like I’m going to trust a dude to remember to take the pill every day! Bwahahahahahaha!! Also, can you imagine the mood swings? Christ. The last thing I want to do on a Sunday night is hold my pillow-sniveling boyfriend and tell him over and over againt that he’s not fat.
This post in itself deserves an award.
...
need synonyms for vagina, shame-cave, kitty-cage,...
natashavc:
(snatch, cooter, who-ha, are all so obvs)
BUT i’m looking for something fresher (HA!)
ok so far I have
squeeze-box
gash
man-pleaser
canal
I’m coming up dry on ideas. (omg! again! ha!)
We love how no one has bothered to ask why you’re looking for a vagina synonym! Really! It’s so great that people just jump right in and tippy tappy typy gross, misogynistic,...
You know what's a huge fucking turn off?
frangry:
A bad speller.
Oh, you mean like people who don’t know “a lot” is two words? And then they wait awhile after being publicly called out on it until they eventually quietly change it?
“Just watch, and wait: as Israel ramps up its attacks on Gaza, the permanently...”
– LENIN’S TOMB: الأرض المقدسة (via jhnbrssndn)
“[P]lucky little Levantine racists” is the most disgusting phrase I’ve heard this holiday season, and I’ve been visiting with relatives who make the Emanuels look like WASPs. Merry Chanukah, fuckfaces who cloak anti-semitism in...
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM NONSOCIETY! →
nick-lcc:
trainwrecks:
juliaallison:
Merry Christmas and Happy Hannauka, bunnies.
OK, so we sit at the Trainwrecks Athiest Desk, but is that an accepted spelling anywhere?
lol
P.S. It’s Hong Kong Phooey
Ha! We are slipping. YAY!
You know what’s crazy? Our second string, shitty holiday fill-in today got us more followers and irate emails than we’ve ever gotten in a single day before! You wouldn’t know it, because it didn’t happen on tumblr FOR SOME REASON, but SOME PEOPLE sure did get testy about her material.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM NONSOCIETY! →
juliaallison:
Meghan, Mary and I made this video holiday card, just for you.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hannauka, bunnies.
OK, so we sit at the Trainwrecks Athiest Desk, but is that an accepted spelling anywhere? Maybe ”Hannauka” is some island holiday involving Hong Kong Fooey, Grape Ape, The Jetsons, and special guest appearances by the Harlem Globetrotters. ...
Trainwrecks isn't really "on" today.
jgh:
White whine: I read Trainwrecks for the lulz, and it seems they got a really shitty substitute writer over the holidays.
Seriously, making fun of Eden by saying she looks like Diablo Cody? Snarking on FM for posting a news link? Huh? It’s not like there aren’t more snarkworthy targets — my dumb ass included.
I wrote that stuff today, and I also snarked on you for being an idiot...
Do you know who Thomas Tamm is?
fatmanatee:
Thomas Tamm lost his job and can’t find suitable replacement work.
His house was searched and computers confiscated by the federal government.
His family was questioned.
He suffers from depression.
Thomas Tamm was the whistleblower who called the NY Times about the Bush administration’s secret wiretapping program. Do you want to know more about Thomas Tamm?
How a smug tumblr...
doctorandmrsgdelahaye/gmail
Look everyone, it’s the saddest email address on the internet! You know how sometimes a person will try to be ironic and so over the top with something stupid so it’s hilarious but they’ll fail and just look extraordinarily, schadenfreude-inducingly, embarrassingly lame? This is the Taj Mahal of that.
Word to the desperate: if you start shit with trainwrecks, and you happen to...
The Langley Schools Music Project →
eec:
(more)
Every time some idiot tumbr discovers something awesome that awesome people knew was awesome ten years ago, it annoys us all over again.
Bacon
jgh:
Is God’s way of showing us he loves us and that everything will be All Right.
Mmmmm. Crispy, crispy saturated fat.
So “everything will be All Right” includes “us” all becoming obese, maybe getting diabetes, being in increasing pain over the courses of our lives, getting sleep apnea, and eventually dying (much earlier than we would have otherwise) of massive heart...
Brilliant idea for reality show
brianvan:
youngmanhattanite:
peterfeld:
Can you imagine if the entire drunken blogger set actually took Krucoff’s advice and all became teachers in the New York public schools?
Yes, Peter. Imagine. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.
Well…
1. We’d get paid benefits. All of us. That’s change I can get behind.
2. All of us have had drunk teachers. They were...
“There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered:...”
– Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour (via julie911)
Exactly. But it’s missing something…
Impressiveness of food and venue increases with affection and seems to decrease after penetration.
(via maryrambin)
Whoa whoa whoa. Don’t put your shit on us, lady. As Julia Allison...
We're not ACTUALLY gay. →
frangry:
Yet.
Yeah, we know. Your lesbian minstrelsy is apparent to eighty year old grandmas in Nebraska.
Open letter to all the people Trainwrecks follows
Dear Trainwrecks Followee,
You have been chosen because you are very special to us. Our editorial staff vets each and every one of your Tumblrs for content, inanity, and snarkability. Some readers have accused us of having no central leadership and that any joker with the Trainwrecks password can post and add people to follow without any input from others. This couldn’t be further from...
This is why I don't have a Twitter account. Or...
chairmanofthebored:
Watching the Trainwrecks site try to cleverly parse Tumblr postings is like watching a developmentally-disabled toddler with a serious glue addiction try to solve a Rubik’s cube. Part of you kind of wants him to succeed? But part of you is just really saddened by the whole thing and disappointed that it isn’t as funny as you had hoped.
We’d be totally offended by this,...
I've solved the financial crisis.
soupsoup:
Stop spending money you don’t have. Problem solved! You can thank me later!
This is so wildly inaccurate and yet stated with such misplaced arrogance. Maybe lay off tumblr for a few minutes and go listen to that NPR podcast?
OMFG
karion:
“You’re in.”
Ohmyholyshitballs.
I have some questions. Hasn’t there been a big deal made of how intense the background inspections are for potential members the Obama administration? Like online specifically? And hey, remember when karion had all those stupid ideas that Sarah Palin faked her pregnancy? Because MAKING UP that you flew eight hours after your water broke is so much...
Hey everyone, meet this guy! He’s PROUD of the sexist, nonsensical, rambling drool he’s emailed to Julia Allison!
fpdeguzman:
so as you all know.. those of you who follow Julia Allison.. she’s been posting random questions about body perception.. looking for responses.. well I responded to her latests posts about the body types that she had posted.. type 1 being Kate Moss.. type 2...
Notes on a Sunday Night
lovepuppy:
Just sitting in bed, crocheting and thinking about the nature of life and the world. Here’s a partial view into my thoughts:
1. I am jealous of all of the girls from my high school that are married to really handsome men. Sure, I live in New York, I do glam things, I have a dream job, but I am lonely. I really want a boyfriend that lives in the same place and I actually want a...
youngmanhattanite:
I received a spiffy t-shirt and another Donors Choose Giving Card in the mail, this time thanking me for YM’s participation in their Blogger Challenge. I picked this project to finish funding, mostly to make the Guided By Voices reference in the donor comments.
SOME trainwreckers love Andrew Krucoff really hard.
fusioned:
baitandswitch:
claytoncubitt:
...
The Trainwrecks Awards
thehatgame:
trainwrecks:
If we had any ambition whatsoever, we’d totally solicit nominations. We don’t, so we won’t.
But if we did, we would totally nominate this ‘wad for most likely to beat SoupSoup in a reblog-off.
I already nominated him. Simply click on the multifunctional “unfollow” button.
You know, ordinarily we’d write something bitchy about how you obviously don’t...
The Trainwrecks Awards
If we had any ambition whatsoever, we’d totally solicit nominations. We don’t, so we won’t.
But if we did, we would totally nominate this ‘wad for most likely to beat SoupSoup in a reblog-off.
You can't scare me I'm sticking the union. →
natashavc:
There once was a union maid, she never was afraid Of goons and ginks and company finks and the deputy sheriffs who made the raid.She went to the union hall when a meeting it was called, And when the Legion boys come ‘round She always stood her ground.
(really tired of being made to apologize for my work. i also don’t want you to think I like folk-music. but i do love me some Old Crow...
Oh, the emails I get.
juliaallison:
Also, why do people think it’s so difficult to NOT sleep with men??
Because some people LIKE sex.
Thank you, readers
For alerting us to trainwrecks far and yon. The Hez/Meg Ryan photos we posted together were the work of an observant reader.
We don’t name names (unless you ask us to). So come on, tumblrs, pimp our content!
trainwrecks2.0@gmail.com
THE MOST BRILLIANT AND HYSTERICAL AND TRUE VIDEO... →
juliaallison:
On men who go to the doghouse for the shitty holiday gifts they give their wives & girlfriends.
True. Genius. GENIUS!!!!
Test: This post is:
A) A shill for JC Penney (tacky x 2!)
B) Bait
C) All of the above?
Me: Do you think I lack MYSTERY?
Charles: Hah
Charles: Um
Charles: What does that even mean?
Me: It means ... what it says!
Charles: I think you're predictably unpredictable.
Me: Women need mystery to keep men's attention.
Me: I wonder if the reason I can't keep a relationship going is because I lack mystery due to this blog.
Charles: I doubt it.
Charles: I think it's because you're annoying to date.
Me: I hate you.
Oh, I would leave this untouched because I do adore when Julia Allison thinks she's being candid by publishing what she thinks are teasing remarks from others but which are actually little gristly bits of TRUTH. But I must comment on this dating blogger's "Women need mystery to keep men's attention" because it is just such a steaming pile of Carrie Bradshaw easy made up no-thought know-nothing about men or human beings or women nonsense. And she just declares this as if it's a universal truth. It DOESN'T mean anything, Charles, but if it did mean something, that something would be so off base with regards to anything resembling a real adult relationship or real adult love. Julia Allison -- maybe such a terrible understanding of what it means to be an adult, or what it means to be in a relationship, or what it means to be in love, or someone's partner, are what keep you from having a successful relationship. Chew on that. PLEASE.
That's What He Said →
megwhyte:
Since when does JA have sexcapades? I’m pretty sure all the blogs about is her dog that “changes names with the seasons” (WTF), all the ‘famous’ and ‘important’ people she knows, and other shit that makes me smack my head and cringe.